The OG Pareto Principle claims 80% of results come from 20% of effort. But here’s the twist: 80% of your joy comes from 20% of your time. The rest? Soul-taxing admin, obligatory small talk, and folding fitted sheets (a crime against humanity).
My Rock Bottom:
I once spent 37 minutes color-coding my spice rack while ignoring a work deadline. Turns out, joy isn’t found in alphabetized paprika.
Your Homework:
Track your week in 3 categories:
- 🔥 Fire: Stuff that makes you forget to pee (painting, hiking, not folding socks).
- 💤 Zzz: Neutral but necessary (grocery shopping, paying bills, pretending to care about your cousin’s bonsai obsession).
- 🗑️ Trash: Tasks that drain you like a emotional vampire (group texts, unsubscribing from 2017 newsletters, Zoom “networking”).
2. Cutting the Fluff Without Guilt (Yes, You Can Burn the PTA Sign-Up Sheet)
Step 1: Ditch “Shoulds” Like a Bad Tinder Date
That 80% fluff? It’s held hostage by guilt. “I should volunteer for the PTA.” “I should learn calligraphy.” Nah.
The “Joy Filter”:
Ask: “Would I do this if I couldn’t post about it?” If not, delete, delegate, or downgrade it to “someday maybe.”
Step 2: Automate the 💤 Zzz
- Robotize Chores: Hire a teen to assemble IKEA furniture ($20 + a Red Bull = a desk that won’t collapse).
- Batch the Boring: Blitz all adulting tasks in one “Misery Monday” hour. Suffer once, thrive all week.
My Win:
I outsourced meal prep to a $5 rotisserie chicken and a bag of spinach. My joy-free cooking time dropped 80%, and my cat now judges me less.
3. Amplify Your 20%: Turn Spark into Bonfire (and Why I’m Now the Picasso of Bad Watercolors)
The “Multiply the Magic” Method:
- Double Down: If reading smutty romance novels lights you up, start a book club and write fanfic where the hero is a sentient toaster.
- Protect It Like a VIP: Block “joy hours” on your calendar. Treat them like a Beyoncé concert—non-negotiable.
- Joy Stacking: Pair 🔥 tasks with dopamine boosters (hike while listening to true crime podcasts about cult leaders).
Confession:
I scheduled “Friday Fun Hours” to paint watercolors of my cat wearing a tiny hat. My coworkers think I’m “unhinged.” My therapist calls it “self-actualization.”
4. When the 80% Creeps Back In (And It Will, Like That One Ex Who Still Likes Your TikToks)
Life’s clutter is clingier than a stage-5 clinger. Here’s how to fight back:
The “Joy Leak Audit”:
Every month, ask:
- “What’s recently felt like chewing cardboard?” (Example: My attempt to “network” at a Zoom mixer where everyone just talked about CrossFit.)
- “What can I quit like a bad habit?” (Bye-bye, 6 a.m. spin class. Hello, sleep.)
Embrace the “Good Enough” Standard:
Your 80% tasks don’t need gold stars. Fold laundry? Crumple it into the drawer. Emails? Use templates like “Per my last text…”
My Mantra:
“Done is holy.” – Glennon Doyle (or me, after half-assing a PowerPoint titled “Synergy: A Love Story”).
5. The “Anti-To-Do List” for Rebel Souls (Feat. My Vendetta Against LinkedIn Thought Leaders)
Productivity culture wants you to do more. Rebel by doing less, better.
Sample Anti-To-Do List:
- Stop: Saying “yes” to events that feel like jury duty (looking at you, Dave’s “casual” crypto pitch over quinoa bowls).
- Delete: Apps that hijack your focus (LinkedIn, I’m not “connecting” with strangers who post sunset quotes).
- Ignore: Emails that start with “Just circling back…” (Unless they’re from your landlord. Then panic.)
Pro Tip:
Replace “productivity” with “purpose-ivity.” If it doesn’t serve your joy or growth, it’s noise.
6. The Happiness 80/20 Challenge (Spoiler: I Replaced Networking with Nap Time)
7 Days to Test-Drive the Rule:
- Day 1-2: Track your time. Tag tasks as 🔥, 💤, or 🗑️.
- Day 3: Cut 1 🗑️ task. Replace it with 10 minutes of 🔥 (I swapped a Zoom “coffee chat” for rewatching The Office blooper reel).
- Day 4-7: Protect your 20% like it’s the last slice of pizza.
My Result:
I gained 5 hours/week by quitting a toxic committee and binge-watching Ted Lasso instead. My cortisol levels? ✨Unbothered.✨
Final Thought: Your Life Isn’t a Spreadsheet (But My Cat’s Hat Art Might Be)
The 80/20 Rule isn’t about optimization—it’s about liberation. Keep the 20% that makes you hum with purpose, and ditch the rest like expired yogurt.
Your Homework:
Delete one 🗑️ task today (mine: unfollowing “hustle bros” who post sunrise selfies). Then go blast your 20% anthem (mine’s “Dancing Queen”).